I feel like within the last month my life has been spiraling into a pit of darkness. Nothing bad is really happening, it just seems like everything that brings me joy is quickly departing and leaving me here alone. My family is officially living 8 hours away from me, and even though we didn't get to spend that much time together, I feel like I'm suffocating without them. To top off the loss of my family, my pseudo-family at 606 is no longer. Now it's just me and Holly… well and Joey too… but that makes me a permanent 3rd wheel and therefore the person who's always left out. Left alone. Holly and I have completely opposite schedules and we rarely see each other. Every weeknight she has to go to bed by 11 or so and I've barely just got home from work. But, just like she does to Joey, she makes me feel bad when I go out and do something when she's got to go to sleep. I guess I'm just not coping well to everything around me changing at once. I feel like my own physical body is the only thing I have left, and lord knows I've never felt that comfortable in my own skin so that doesn't really make me feel much better. When you feel as unstable and unsure as I do the one thing you really rely on is some place comfortable to go, a sense of home, and I don't have that anymore. In any sense. My entire life feels like it's up in the air and I'm feeling light headed.
