I have yet to accomplish anything since I finished class for the week on Wednesday. I suppose I have done things; filled out apartment applications and gone to meetings, but I haven't really done anything. And the worst part is there is so much to be done. When I think about the things that must be finished by the end of May I begin to feel ill. I sit here each day and convince myself that I will accomplish something tomorrow… but that is, no doubt, a lie. I just have no motivation at all. The tasks at hand seem far too numerous, it all feels hopeless. I miss having someone to guilt me into doing things, get on my back and tell me to stop my whining. I used to be able to do it myself, but I guess I just don't know how anymore. It will all get done, just something tells me the last few weeks of May I will not be sleeping… shit I might be popping pills for all I know.
And to clarify writing this in now way inspires me to do anything, in some ways it alleviates the constant obsessing on my part… sort of like a to-do list. Casts upon me an utterly empty sense of accomplishment.
